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Does My Prius Dream of Electric  Thrills?

2/9/2015

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Anyone who's ever had a Prius knows the car has a mind of its' own - when you come to a stoplight it turns itself off to save gas, right? Even when you turn it off, it makes these little whirrs, rhythmic huffs, and soft hums like it's processing something. Well, now I know what it's doing, and it makes me wonder.
Yesterday when I took it out for its Sunday drive I noticed a new icon on its informational display (for those who don't know the Prius has two - one that tells your speed and another that tells you about your environment - the weather outside and in, how many miles per gallon you're getting by the second, and music). I noticed a new icon on the environmental display that looked like musical note. I tapped it and this music, which I hadn't loaded and I knew wasn't coming from the radio, started with this electronic drum machine-like beat - quick and insistent. Then, a one-note quaver tightened until it became a buzzing hiss that faded, and that's when I noticed the key had changed. This all built to a crescendo of digital perfection - the way a computer would want man-made musical instruments to really sound like. It was then I began to hear things I vaguely recognized - different music I listen to on the way to work, ambient noise from the places I've passed through, like the heavy metal stamping of the steel mills of Gary, the gunfire and sirens of Chicago, the salsa of Orlando, and me cussing out bad drivers. It sounded good - too good, actually because I also noticed I had my foot down to the floor, driving ninety miles an hour. In a moment of doubt I held my smart phone to the speaker to identify something from... maybe the Grand Theft Auto V soundtrack, but the phone said it never heard this before.That was when I knew this was what the Prius wanted all along.  Speed.
Do you remember when Prius - Prii is the plural - were recalled because they accelerated on their own? Now I know that this was not a defect. Prii love speed more than teenagers, more than jet-fighters. The sounds it makes in my garage? It's upgrading.
Now that I know this I don't tap that button - unless I'm late.
You think I'm lying? Okay. Did you read about the Samsung smart televisions that listen to and record everything they can hear in your house, including your conversations? What do you think they're going to do with that information?

1 Comment
i need to contact stephen whitfield
3/14/2015 04:08:29 pm

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    Chicago-born Stephen Whitfield began writing as a Marine Corps print journalist. His writing has appeared in military publications, as well as the Kansas City Star and the Jersey Journal. He holds degrees from  Loyola University Chicago, Chicago Theological Seminary, and Indiana University. His various adventures have taken him to such places as London, Paris, Trondheim, Johannesburg, Beirut, most of The Virgin Islands and the wilder neighborhoods of Chicago.

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